Self- Realization

Ya, so I've been gone. I think I was avoiding blogging. I had a self-realization meeting (that's where you sit with yourself in a room and you re-evaluate everything in the world over the course of a week or so). So that's where I have been.

What have I learned during this time?

1- I don't know everything. Not that I thought I did, but I think I had become a little "wise-in-my-own-eyes" and that "wisdom" was actually doing more harm than good. So rather than turning to my own understanding, I am leaning on Him and His word. NO LONGER I.

2- I am not the greatest writer. I think I have a story to share, but I don't think I have all of the tools necessary to write the way I want to, so I think I will do some research and take some classes on communication and on writing so that I can do this book in such a way that God would be honored and glorified. NO LONGER I.

3- I'm pretty selfish. In conversation, in life, in general. I'm very selfish and have lived a very selfish life. I don't want to be this person any more. I want to be a better listener. I want to be a more generous giver. I want to be so much more about others than about my self. I want to pour out my life into the lives of others (including, but most definitely not limited to my precious angels and my hot husband). NO LONGER I.

4- I am my own worst critic. I have a friend, who, right now would be telling me I'm being too hard on her self. And to some degree, in some areas, she'd be correct. But in some areas, I am being real and I need to be real. But in this area, I need work. The balance between being too hard on my self and being real is a fine line, but I think I am starting to figure it out and I couldn't be happier. I am starting to see who I am in Christ (and starting to love that person, genuinely). I am finally recognizing that some of my flaws are my fault and only I can make the decision to change them and only God can give me the power to change them. So what does this mean? Great news- I am not bound by my name. I do not have to become the person I was on the road to becoming. God has set me free from that bondage and I choose not to be her any longer. NO LONGER I.

More of what I have learned tomorrow. :)